My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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