bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
