so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm passing your future prison.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he fucked my hip out of place.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
