My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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