He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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