I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
