how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
