Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
