It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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