dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
