can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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