I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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