I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
