i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
