And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
