you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love having hate sex.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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