I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
