I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
