Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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