"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
