thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
