i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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