but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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