I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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