I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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