Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
