One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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