It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
