I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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