I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
