Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
