This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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