Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
