I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
