Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
