So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
