I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
