If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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