She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
