just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
