I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
