You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
