Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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