How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
