And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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