wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
