I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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