When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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