Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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