maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
