Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
