We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize