Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
