thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
