More tranny stories later!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
