you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
