you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
