Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
