he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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