yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
